Envision the Future- Adriana FINAL

Envision the Future 

Inspiration/ Influences:

    My project draws inspiration from various artists and techniques, gathering elements from Dadaism, specifically the use of "quadrants" to convey contrast, coupled with collage art that addresses political issues involving immigration and land rights. I was also influenced by Marina Abramović. Because of her and the other performance artists we studied, I decided to incorporate interactive elements, using 3D glasses to physically engage the audience. Additionally, Wendy Red Star's impact on my work can be seen in my utilization of the Crow peace delegation picture, aiming to shed light on the erasure and cultural genocide of indigenous communities. 

Objective (Content):

    I aim to highlight the irony of history where the indigenous peoples faced land theft and cultural obliteration by the very immigrants who now are the ones who call themselves “Americans” and oppose immigration. My project sheds light in this paradoxical narrative, questioning societal perceptions and challenging the hypocrisy within historical narratives regarding the topic of who has the right to citizenship in the United States. In addition, the project also shows the positive sides of immigration along with the progress we have been making to address the issue (which can be seen in the blue pictures once you look through the lens of change). This content is deeply reflecting my own sense of self, as though I do not struggle with how I perceive myself physically, I struggle on how to perceive myself culturally. 

    The project has many subjects including historical issues/stories regarding immigrants (Japanese American camps during WW2) and Native Americans (American Indian boarding schools), immigrant identity, struggles with immigration (the southern border, immigration detention camps, boats of immigrants, separation of families), xenophobia (Asian hate during COVID), and islamophobia (Including the current Gaza situation). 

3 of the quotes 

"Even her earlier pieces often demanded the viewers’ participation and forced them to become involved with the artwork." 

•  NYTimes | Being Marina Abromovic 

This quote resonates on how both me and Marina wanted our art to be more interactive and involve the audience in an unique way. 

“If we can see the present clearly enough, we shall ask the right questions of the past.”

• John Berger, Ways of Seeing

This quote perfectly describes one of the messages I am trying to convey with my project. It is only by looking at the history as a whole, that we will understand the current issues happening. For example, it is necessary to observe the current issues and realize that history repeats itself, and that we must change the present if we want to diverge from repeating the same mistakes.

“Once we have learned how to see the world, we have taken only one of the required steps. The point is to change it.” 

• Nicholas Mirzoeff, How to See the World

I chose this quote because I do not want to only show and highlight the problems. I also want to show part of the solution, the “lens of change” that we can look through to begin addressing the issue. We must first see and learn the history and roots of an issue, but we cannot stop there. 

Explain the process: 

The process of making this project was divided into different parts: (1) research, (2) online editing, (3) assembling the materials.

Research of Images: For this part of the project I tried to find one image addressing different issues regarding immigration/right of land, along with an image showing the progress made in the area. I began researching and decided I would like to address the following topics in my project: 

1. Trump vs. The Southern Border 

2. Current Gaza situation vs. Islamophobia 

3. Xenophobia (particularly to Asian Americans during Covid and WW2) 

4. American Indian Boarding Schools (and their cultural genocide) vs. Wendy Red Star work on reclaiming the culture erasure

5. The current generation fight for diversity vs. the old generation fight for the end of immigration 

6. Unsafe travels immigrants have to perform to escape their countries

7. How the country was built by immigrants

8. Family separation due to deportation 

9. Migrant workers vs. “Stolen Jobs” 

10. Immigrant IDENTITY 

Research of quotes: For this part that fills the bottom and top of the statue of Liberty with all the quotes reflecting struggles with immigration, I had to seek out multiple relevant and impactful quotes which would reflect the hardships and identity struggles immigrants have in the country. 

1. Remember, remember always, that all of us, and you and I especially, are descended from immigrants and revolutionists. -Franklin D. Roosevelt

2. "Perhaps we are all immigrants trading one home for another. First we leave the womb for air, then the suburbs for the filthy city in search of a better life. Some of us just happen to leave entire countries" -Rupi Kaur

3. "Do you know what a foreign accent is? It's a sign of bravery." - Amy Chua 

4. "Immigrants, we get the job done." -Lin Manuel Miranda, Hamilton

5. "You have to understand, that no one puts their children in a boat unless the water is safer than the land" -Warsan Shire

6. "You broke the ocean in half to be here. Only to meet nothing that wants you" - Nayyirah Waheed

7. "So, here you are, too foreign for home, too foreign for here. Never enough for both." - ljeoma Umebinyuo

Online editing: after I chose my pictures for the project, I had to edit them into the right color scheme so the “Lens of Change” could be used. The way the editing works is based on the fact that the color red is turned into black and white when looked through a blue lens, as opposed to blue, which becomes more vivid when looked through a blue lens. By editing the pictures colors to match their assigned category (red being the bad things/issues, and blue being the positive sides and fights to solve the issue), I was able to create an optical illusion where my entire project would only show the positive images when the audience looks through the blue lens provided in the “Lens of Change” (3D glasses) 

Assembling the materials: this project used a multitude of materials, where each different material signifies something of importance. 

• 1- Shape of the medium: the Statue of Liberty was more than the perfect medium for me to execute my project. This is because the statue was the first thing immigrants saw while coming through Ellis Island, making it a great piece of immigration history, and a good medium for me to place such an elaborate discussion project. 
• 2- Broken mirror: the mirror reflects the shattered identity of immigrants/Native Americans. Intentionally shattered to reflect a surrealist figure of the person observing, the mirror shows how having to adapt into a new culture can cause a loss of identity and an identity crisis. This topic is also addressed in some of the quotes, where it is stated that immigrants are “too foreign for here, too foreign for home”.
• 3- Painting with digitals: I chose to paint the project with digitals because I wanted to make a connection to how federal documents require biometrics, associating digitals with the right of citizenship. The entire statue is painted with blue and red digitals, corresponding to Americans (red) and Immigrants (blue). However, the constitution itself is deprived of the blue digitals, showing that the laws are still against facilitating immigration. 
• 4- 3D glasses ("Lens of Change"): This material was a personal choice of mine because I knew I wanted to do something big and different for my final project. I did not want to do something that had been done before. The idea came to me after much thinking and I knew I had to execute it. 
• 5- Images (Collage): The images are responsible for the contrast and duality of the issues and solutions of the topic being addressed. As mentioned, each image was picked based on different historical events. 
• 6- Torch to place the “Lens of Change”: I did not want to have my project rely on a person distributing the glasses. I wanted my art to be interactive enough to where the observer would only need the art project to have the experience. The torch was made out of multiple aluminum cans and cardboard for support. The “Lens of Change” is located inside the torch because of a correlation with “shedding a light in the issue”, considering it is a literal torch, which emits light. 

Extra Questions: 

• What do you think this self portrait conveys to the audience/viewers

I believe this self portrait conveys reflection and an incentive to be more active and politics and to better understand political issues regarding immigration/right of land. In addition, it conveys empathy and shows a little insight in the identity issues faced by immigrants and Native Americans in the United States. 

• What are the differences between your first self-portraits (3) and this self-portrait (final)?

The difference is that this work was way more elaborate, bigger (size), approached a different topic than my previous self-portraits which talked about the struggles of college students with time (Kitchen Table Series), roles of women in society (photo series), and my own identity of self when I moved from Brazil which reflected my past self and my current self (collage). This project approached identity in a larger, more sophisticated way in which I present not only my own self perception, but also the “shattered identity” of those who had an intense culture clash due to having to adapt into another culture. 

• What influenced these changes? Have you pushed yourself and learned from the artists we discussed? How?

What influenced my changes was my artistic development as well as my wish to make something good and meaningful as my final project. I learned a lot from the artists we discussed in class and pushed myself to discover many more artists while working on my project. I used what I learned from multiple works and art styles to construct my project.

• How does the spectacle/media influence identity and self presentation? 

The project influences identity and self presentation by showing how my own identity, and the identity of many other immigrants, is a fragile sense of self which was constructed with parts from our own country which often clash with our new place of living and different culture. 

References:

1- John Berger, Ways of Seeing

2- Nicholas Mirzoeff, How to See the World

3- NYTimes | Being Marina Abromovic https://www.nytimes.com/2022/07/08/t-magazine/marina-abramovic.html

Self Promo

 Hi just a little bit of self promo/info from what i mentioned at the end of class!

   My friend Aurora (@frozenpassionfruit) and I (@httpkilljoy) are going to be vending at a pop culture mini event at Makers Square in jersey city, right off of journal square! I'll be selling my stickers, keychains, and prints. My work ranges from cartoons and anime, to game fanart and originals. If you're in the area, check it out!

I'm not only posting this here for myself but also for other artists who may want to sell their work. It's a new vending spot that'll be running flea markets, art fairs and so on in this one location. Even if you don't want to sell there, exposure helps all artists involved, and we should all support our community.

We will be there January 13th, 2024! Feel free to stop by if you'd like to support us or other local makers!!

Final Project

   

   It’s safe to say we are our own worst critics. Sometimes I also wonder are thought about myself based on fact or based on the beauty standards of this society.  When coming up this piece I started thinking about a few artists such as Frida Kahlo, Carrie Mae Weems. Living in the same world in different times periods but we all share one thing in common. Fighting against the beauty standards of the European descents.  I also believe that no matter your ethic background we are all somewhat effected by the standards of what it considers beautiful. In this collage project I just wanted to show a series of myself though out the years. From the insecure 18-year-old to the confident woman I’ve become today. As women we are always told to be lady like, to be presentable. But when we do adorn ourselves and look nice, we are told that we are vain. Sounds like a contradiction. In John Bergers Way of Seeing he says "the past is never there waiting to be discovered, to be recognized for exactly what it is. History always constitutes the relation between the present and its past." As I read this quote it started to make me think of how I can sometimes stay in the past and how easy is it to get stuck there. But I don't think there is nothing wrong with reflecting on the past but to learn from the history of the past. Whether its mistakes or thought patterns. Even learn from the history of old beauty standards and to not let them dictate to me what beauty is. 

    There as a sense of wanting to belong somewhere, anywhere in those spaces but sometimes it doesn’t work that way. Sometimes we must push against those who don’t feel comfortable with our presence. But first we must get comfortable with ourselves, me included. What would this world be like if I didn’t compare myself to other women. When I look at the artists that were feature, I wonder how they felt in those moments when their presence wasn't wanted but them existing was enough for others. I wonder when in those moments did, they say enough is enough. Before they became “famous” for their work. The work they had to push and fight against with the white male counterparts. Looking back at the photos in the collage I remember there was a point and time where all I wanted was to be approved by the male gaze and even the female gaze. Which brings me to the quote from Berger " Men act and Woman appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at; Thus she turns herself into an object and most particularly an object of vision: a sight." I didn't realize how much I wanted to be seen until much later in life. To be approved by all or by anybody. You don't know you have a problem until it smacks you in the face. What I love about artist like Carrie Mae Weems is that she never let what other thought of her stop her from making beautiful art. I want to one day have the confidence that she exudes in my work and not let what people think or even stop myself from being great. 

Photo Series: In Between Echoes: Nostalgia and New Horizons

 

In Between Echoes: Nostalgia and New Horizons

Inspiration

My photo series was inspired by Ana Mendieta’s “Earth Body” works, she was able to use natural elements and the landscapes surrounding her to create her art. From Her work I was inspired to follow the themes of displacement and unfamiliar surroundings. “As an immigrant, Mendieta felt a disconnect in the United States. The trauma of being uprooted from her Cuban homeland as a girl would leave her with questions about her identity and make her more conscious of being a woman of color.” In contrast to Ana, I was much younger when I was uprooted from my homeland, too young to remember anything. When I meet others from my own country it is hard to relate to them. I am an outsider, not growing up surrounded by my culture and ancestry has affected me a lot and made me feel shameful for it.

Explanation

    The field represents my ties to my heritage; it is a place that is supposed to evoke feelings of familiarity, warmth, and longing—a place that brings back memories of my native country. In the meantime, the far-off outline of the New York City skyline symbolizes my new surroundings, to which I have adapted but yet feel detached or yearn for a life I could have had in a different situation. My presence in these settings creates a link between the known and the unknown, the past and the present. A story of longing and discovery is created by the contrast between my lack of recollections from my own country and my desire to comprehend and connect with my history.

    It as well becomes a visual expression of disconnect within my family enviornment. It depicts a sensation of alienation or estrangement, crossing the line between desiring to connect to my roots and not feeling connected to the experiences and memories that my family has in common.When I sit down and think about it sometimes, it feels like my family has lived a different life—one that I was not a part of. It can be really painful and alienating. It's a distinct kind of separation in which ties to one's family appear to be practically entwined with an alternate world that I haven't personally encountered. Growing apart from my siblings who grew up in a different culture and not meeting them till I was twelve and five, for most of my life made me feel like an only child growing up.

    In my photographs I am laying down/standing in the “motherland”. It represents my ties to my homeland, as though I'm assimilating the spirit of my ancestry. The endless, open expanse of my own country and the busy, metropolitan reality of my current surroundings are contrasted in the sky above, where birds are soaring against the backdrop of the city skyline. In One of The photographs the birds symbolize my own experience of migration and adjustment. It captures the notion of moving to a new location and navigating the unknown, much like birds fly great distances to find new homes or destinations. Inspired by Ana Mendieta’s quote “It is a way of reclaiming my roots and becoming one with nature. Although the culture in which I live is part of me, my roots and cultural identity are a result of my Cuban heritage.”

    Additionally it is symbolic of the desire for adventure, independence, and a sense of belonging. As well as the desire for some sort of link between my history and the present, between my origins and my goals in this new place. An additional depth of meaning is added by the surrounding river. Rivers frequently represent time passing, continuity, and life's flow. In this instance, it represents the persistence of my ancestry, despite my feelings of disconnection from it. My photo series gains depth from this symbolism, which enables viewers to understand and relate to the feelings and experiences related to migration, adaptation, and the search for a sense of identity. In this instance, the leaves covering my face and enveloping my body represent the melding and integrating with the surroundings. Nature. It represents my relationship to the natural world, reflects on the relationship between one's self and the environment, or even offers a remark on how humans view and engage with our environment.

    Even while I long to explore the depths of my culture and find the connections between the stories of my family, I am incredibly appreciative of my current situation. Looking back on my journey, I see that my path might have taken a different turn if I had been in my native country. As stated by John Berger, “The way we see things is affected by what we know or what we believe”.I've embraced a world of art and music here, in this vibrant cultural tapestry I've found myself in, that would not have been as accessible elsewhere. This place's beat and the melodies of its artwork have become the background music of my life. If I were from somewhere else, this tune might be different. I would be a completely different person with different beliefs and perspectives. Who am I in this alternate universe? I may never know. No one exactly knows.. I'm humbled by the special symphony of experiences this area has given me, even as I long to discover the history and legends of my native country. The mosaic of my journey is shaped by the combination of these divergent potentials, which makes me grateful for where I am.

Process Of Creating Photo Series

My process throughout this series was not quite easy, at first I was having a difficult time trying to think of which Idea I wanted to portray or if it was good enough. In the end I ended up thinking about Ana Mendieta and Frida Kahlo’s themes of being an immigrant. My photo series, which symbolizes migration and the desire for connection, made me think about Berger's investigation of the ways in which images have multiple meanings that can be interpreted in various ways depending on personal experiences and cultural contexts. He places emphasis on the ways in which our upbringing and exposure to society norms influence our perspectives. I wanted to wear my hoodie that is merchandise from Bladee because It is the artist that introduced me to so much of the music I listen to right now and ties in with the culture I am a part of in this country. I wanted to include a piece of myself into the homeland side. In my photographs the river, birds and leaves were photoshopped by me. I wanted to add those elements to make it feel like a different place from where I am…. A foreign land that is so close to a city area.

Difference

The difference between this final project and my first selfie posts is that I was able to push myself out of my comfort zone by going into a public space. By using an environment as a place and idea I wanted to portray. As well as creating two different “universes” that the viewers can Invision. Going in deeper with my self identity and how I perceive it.

Quotes Used & References

“As an immigrant, Mendieta felt a disconnect in the United States. The trauma of being uprooted from her Cuban homeland as a girl would leave her with questions about her identity and make her more conscious of being a woman of color.”

“It is a way of reclaiming my roots and becoming one with nature. Although the culture in which I live is part of me, my roots and cultural identity are a result of my Cuban heritage.”

Castillo, M. (2018, September 19). Overlooked no more: Ana Mendieta, a Cuban artist who pushed boundaries. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/19/obituaries/ana-mendieta-overlooked.html

“The way we see things is affected by what we know or what we believe”

Chapter 1, Berger, John. Ways of seeing. Penguin Classics, 2008.

Final Project

"Maybe you don’t know"

I was deeply inspired by Frida Kahlo’s articles the most and I feel that they are connected to my project and the topic I chose. However, those articles were not provided through the blog, so I searched them up and read a couple of articles to get the most related quotes to my project. In this project I will give a brief summary about Egypt and why is it considered the most important arab country, then I will talk about my main point of the project which is about the genocide war that is happening now between Israel and Palestine and why people starting to accuse Egypt specifically than other Middle Eastern/arab countries. Egypt's importance in the Arab world is attributed to its rich history, geographical location, and significant contributions to Arab culture and literature. Egypt also played a significant role in the Arab League, promoting economic, cultural, and political cooperation. In addition, the Egyptian army, ranked as the strongest Arab army by Global Fire Power, significantly contributes to countering terrorism in Libya, Yemen, and particularly in North Sinai, involving Libya, Yemen, and Egypt. I love when Anwar El Sadat, one of the previous Egyptians presidents once said Arabs without Egypt are zero.

Dear friends,
You probably heard about the Palestine and Israel war and you think you know what’s happening, but here is my perspective of what I know as an Egyptian American. Hamas is a group of Palestines in Palestine that lots of people say they fight for the Palestinian’s security and rights, and this group started the war and started to firing rockets on Israel because they don’t want Israel to take over the Al Aqsa Mosque or have the Al Aqsa Mosque under their name and want Palestine to be free from the harm the israelis have been causing on them. However, what they got in return was worse, Israel responded back with heavy force of fire, a disturbing amount of rockets at the palestinian people, kids, houses, and even the hospital. Those people who were still alive didn't know where to go. According to Frida Kahlo “my painting carries with it the message of pain.” This quote really means a lot because it expresses emotions related to pain. A couple of people said we used to hide in the hospital because they never think that they are going to shoot it but everything was ruined/destroyed, there was no food, water, electricity, or internet. One of Frida Kahlo's quotes “Pain, pleasure and death are no more than a process for existence. The revolutionary struggle in this process is a doorway open to intelligence.” I really like this quote because of the cycle of pain, pleasure, and death, emphasizing the struggle for change as a means to gain intelligence and knowledge about life and the world. Egyptians have a long history of support for the Palestinian cause, initially opposing the Zionist colonization project in the 1930s. In the 1950s, Egypt's president, Gamal Abdel Nasser, offered state support to the Palestinians, securing a political victory after Israel's attack. Moreover, Egypt was the first Arab country to send tons of aid trucks(Egyptian Red Crescent) to the people in Gaza. However, Benjamin Netanyahu the prime minister of Israel warned and said in his conference that no aid trucks are allowed to enter Gaza and we are going to shoot those aid trucks. The aid trucks were waiting in the front of the Rafah Border Crossing for 4 days and the reason why is that the Egyptian president Abdel Fattah El Sisi didn't want to risk his soldiers/army or the people. The Rafah Border Crossing is protected very well and I will show images in the video. Moreover, after the four days had passed Egypt decided to open the borders and El Sisi said in his conference if they stop or shoot the aid trucks or any of his people World War III will start. Therefore, the aid trucks peacefully and respectively have crossed the border. As it said by Walash “About 70% of the total aid delivered to Gaza thus far had been provided by Egypt. From October 21 to December 3 about 3,109 aid trucks entered Gaza from the Rafah crossing, including 3,268 tons of medicine and other medical supplies, 1,648 tons of fuel, 15,609 tons of food and 11,724 tons of water”. Israel's prime minister said in his conference that Egyptians should take those palestinian to their land in Sinai until they rebuild what was destroyed in Gaza. El Sisi responded by claiming that there is an empty land owned by Israel which they can take those palestinian there until they rebuild everything again in Gaza. That does not mean that Egyptian doesn’t want them to come, but El Sisi doesn’t want the Palestinians to leave their country, "I hope the exit is joyful and I hope never to return.” This quote is heartbroken because one of the kids who was found under the stone and was alive but injured said exactly the same thing. I want joy and happiness and I don’t want this to happen anymore. Supporting those in need doesn't require any religious affiliation, as all you need to do is be a human.

Reference

“As Israel-Hamas War Expands, U.S. Pledges More Aid for Palestinians, Including a Field Hospital inside Gaza.” CBS News, CBS Interactive, www.cbsnews.com/news/israel-hamas-war-expands-us-pledge-gaza-aid-field-hospital-samantha-power/. Accessed 06 Dec. 2023.

Viva La Vida, Watermelons - by Frida Kahlo, www.fridakahlo.org/viva-la-vida-watermelons.jsp.

Tank Magazine. “Summer Issue.” Tank Magazine, 6 Dec. 2023, magazine.tank.tv/tank/2018/06/frida-kahlo#:~:text=%E2%80%9CPain%2C%20pleasure%2C%20and%20death,Frida%20Kahlo%20in%20her%20diary.

“my Painting Carries with It the Message of Pain’ - Frida Kahlo.” GlobalMindED, myemail.constantcontact.com/-My-Painting-Carries-with-it-the-Message-of-Pain----Frida-Kahlo.html?soid=1104015295855&aid=8jqX8918cwY.

"Frustation"

 

“Frustration”

 I will always say this project gave me bittersweet moments of feeling proud and kind of sad. For my photo series, I got inspired by Cindy Sherman's artwork “Nobody is here but me” and Frida Kahlo. After I graduated from my ballet academy, life started to get a little bit busier. College was hard on me plus a full-time job and let's add to that the responsibilities at home. I’ve been off stage for about two years now, and even though every day I play some music and my body just wants to dance, it’s just not the same. So, this is my current “frustration”; wanting to be on daily rehearsals, competitions, and on stage every day and not be able to because of how busy my schedule is, it’s just a disaster.

I decided to take out one of my ballerina costumes and recreate a scenario where I do the tasks of my daily life, but there is a ballerina living in me. The first 2 images in the photo series are a representation of how college has me lately, with hours in front of my computer and a lot of assignments. The second picture is a representation of the weekly household chores I oversee doing and that also keeps me busy. However, I always end up dancing in between cleaning because there’s a ballerina in me. For the two last pictures, I decided to recreate “server Rachel”. I’m extremely happy about the opportunities that have come my way at my current job because I know I’ll be able to keep growing, but at the same time, if I didn’t have to work, I’d be able to continue with my dance journey. However, I’ll always be proud that a ballerina lives in me. And it doesn’t matter the place I will be or the role I will be executing now, I am aware of my identity professional-wise.  Rachel Alfonso could be serving, cleaning, or trying to finish this bachelor but she also graduated from ballet, and even though she gets frustrated because all these characters are putting some limit on her passion; she is proud of herself.

“I’m frustrated at trying to capture on film something that I can’t even articulate because I don’t know what it is I am looking for until I see it” (Cindy Sherman). Just like Cindy I still don’t know what I’m looking for in life, and I guess I'll realize once in front of me. All I know is that I want to do so much stuff at the same time, then maybe that’s why I get so frustrated and don’t take my time to canalize what it is that I want. “People have described her as broken and fragile, but she was strong and accomplished a tremendous amount in her lifetime.” Frida possessed an inner strength that helped her face challenges, adversity, or personal struggles with resilience and determination. It implies that her character and resolve were far from weak. Not only was she strong in character, but she also achieved significant and noteworthy accomplishments during her life. These accomplishments could be in various domains, such as career, personal growth, community service, or any other area where she made a positive impact. But Frida also reached a level of frustration at some point in her life because of her disability, but something I admire is that even though she got unfortunate in that sense, she never stopped creating, expressing, and sharing her art, because she found herself again. Indeed, I wish to find myself again through the artist I am and continue to share my joy on stage, so I can end this frustration…

References

Cindy Sherman (Cindy Sherman - Nobody's Here But Me (1994) - YouTube)

Frida Kahlo ((816) What this painting tells us about Frida Kahlo - YouTube)

Ephemeral

Ephemeral 

Ephemeral

  My final project revolves around love, time, emotional intimacy, and healing. It is an extended photo series to explore the comforts of my relationship as it lasts while imagining time and the lack of time. I used my partner as a subject and together we spent about an hour in my dark basement trying to compose and figure out how to pursue the visuals together. We were both vulnerable and experiencing it all in the moment as a sort of performance, the limited light tracing our features and guiding us toward one another. We held each other, thought, talked, laughed. In total we collected about 400 pictures and a 15 minute video, to which I had to carefully select what images I thought made the cut. We had no idea how long the light would remain or how long it would take to fade, but we did what we could during that time and made the most of it. During a relationship, we never know how long it’ll last, nor do we know what’ll happen to each other. I kept this in mind during my project. The feeling of my love feels endless but I know there will be times where we must separate. My partner and I are both the subjects, with the themes of closeness being a primary focus. I took all the photographs using my phone, lit by the blue light stick, and some photographs edited using the layers in Procreate. 

Meeting

Conjoined

We

   Inspired by the domesticity of Carrie Mae Weems’ Kitchen Table Series, I put my own stylistic spin on the composed depiction of romance and intimacy. I actually used a couple of her photographs in my inspiration board, looking at how she portrays intimacy with gentle touches, the looks between two people, and variations of romantic or familial love. In an interview with Weems posted on YouTube, she describes how women seem to depict intimacy in photos, whether it be with their partners, loved ones or friends, while men oftentimes depict the “outside”. They document “family or themselves”, something they can narratively control in the photographs. The closeness and intimacy of these photos allow the viewer to step up to the photograph and see IT and THEM as people. While Weems’ work focuses on representing what she herself as an artist wants to represent and interpret, I wanted to use this chance to represent my interactions with respect to intimacy and emotional closeness. I also wanted to think of a sort of performance art photoshoot in a way, having a plan but also using the spontaneous nature of human company to create the images. I attempted to research a good amount of performance art pieces revolving around love, human intimacy, and trust. I tried to combine these ideas with the idea of visual snapshots and my own personal aesthetics.

“ Now we see the digital performance of the self becoming a conversation”

Nicholas Mirzoeff, How to See the World

Seek

Tender

Simple

   When I think of a relationship, I don't always think of romance but rather two human beings, themselves full and whole, expressing their worlds in their two joined hands. My first self portraits were all focusing on me alone, many of which not having very positive connotations. Not only am I uncomfortable taking pictures with other people but also sometimes I feel trapped in my own head. I have no other outlets to get my stress out so sometimes it comes out visually in my art, which can seem depressing for some. For this project, I ripped through the comfort zone to pursue a project that not only involves my partner in the process of my art but also allows them to see the result. In a decent amount of frames, I'm actually happy for once. This isn't a performance of artificial happiness, that's real. He helped me with decision making in a collective communication, reassuring me throughout it all. The process involved communication and conversation of our comforts, likes, and aesthetics while also enjoying the process of togetherness.

“It’s an invitation to others to like or dislike what you have made and to participate in a visual conversation”

Nicholas Mirzoeff, How to See the World

Watching

Hold

Protect

Gentle

My partner is the most important person in my life and has watched me change for six years yet is still here. I wanted to add a connection to my partner because I feel our relationship is special and every love is special. 

“Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at”

John Berger, Ways of Seeing

I’ve always been uncomfortable being perceived. I especially feel uncomfortable being perceived in a way of attraction. It brings me discomfort and makes me feel like an object. I never feel worried about that with my partner though. Despite him being masculine presenting, they are always respectful and do not make me feel how other men have treated me. I don’t catch his gaze and feel shame and unsafe but rather I feel seen as a human, not just a woman to be taken. 

Tongue-Tied

Hairtie

Laughter

Help

We do not fight for dominance, our femininity and masculinity doesn’t dictate our relationship. The blue and pink are not symbolic of our genders assigned at birth but are rather symbolic of the serenity of love combined with the innocence of it. Pink is oftentimes associated with innocence and purity, as well as love and compassion. Plus, I'm a Demi-bisexual woman and do not feel the need to conform to standard gender roles in a relationship. I don’t feel that attraction, sex, or biological sex dictates our relationship and we can be free to fully be ourselves in all ways. While I also just enjoyed the color scheme, I wanted the blue and pink to represent themes of serenity, fluidity, and emotional lingering moments, as the parts with pink are two moments captured. We can both be gentle, or we can both be strong, and we both are. My partner is my first love, and meeting him has helped me to evolve as a person. Growing up in a house where I felt love was always conditional, I am slowly but surely beginning to heal as I imagine a future together. 

Together

Us

Real

Light

We’re simply both evolving humans with changing lives, and I find the concept of portraying found family and love in photos to be important. I consider it to be a self portrait not only because I'm a part of it, but also because the experience of a healthy relationship has helped me get over much of my trust issues and tainted perceptions of people and love over time. Luckily now, after many many years, I'm finding comfort in fully trusting another person and finally healing from things in my past that have made it difficult to be truly myself, and to accept being loved. 

 “When in love, the sight of the beloved has a completeness which no words and no embrace can match”

John Berger, Ways of Seeing

Closeness

Seconds

Moment

Shoulder

   For more symbolic elements, I decided to use glow sticks. They need to crack and break before they can glow. My partner was recently away for a month training for his military deployment. He brought me back these light sticks that glow blue when cracked. This sparked the idea that I can use that blue lighting like when I did my TV portraits, but this time with a different meaning, from something he gave me as a souvenir, the light being different with a more positive connotation. Once I crack the glowsticks, I can’t try over. Once they fade, that’s it. That’s another reason why I’m using this as a partial performance piece with limits in time and lighting. 

Stay 

Smile

Lead

Flash

Another aspect of my project is accepting love while it's here, as I know he's going to leave for deployment soon and I have to cope and come to terms with my feelings during that time. He's going to be away for about a year, and I know it's going to hurt me. I am hoping I can get past that pain, like I've done in the past, and we'll return to each other again. Having this concept in mind while shooting brought a little bit of a bittersweet feeling to me but I wanted to enjoy the moments with him and portray our relationship in what felt like a safe setting for me. I'm trying to take vulnerability, intimacy, relationship to love and feelings of closeness to close out the lonely images I've made this semester. Similarly to the glowsticks, once he’s gone for 12 months, I’ll feel alone in the dark. At the same time, I know he’s still there. Even if this doesn't last forever, neither do we. He's the light of my ephemeral life.  

Sameness

Remember

Ghost

Haunt

Wait

Resources 

John Berger, Ways of Seeing

Nicholas Mirzoeff, How to See the World

https://youtu.be/mmyfSkUsOWE?si=li3ECdb2Je1AZBxj

https://youtu.be/pPDInpNoO50?si=RhySELT70V6NVQBk