Photo Series

Golden Child

    Inspired by the artists we learned about, there are several topics I took away from Mendieta, Weems and Hooks work for my series. Growing up in my culture there was a lot of machismo ideology surrounding me. As women we are expected to look a certain way for the male gaze, if we are not seen as “put together” or look more feminine we are not a woman. With sayings like “How are you ever going to find a husband dressed like that, what will people think of you, you look like you did not learn your manners, are you really going to wear THAT?”. With Mendieta being a Brown Woman I could relate to most of her work, especially being someone who immigrated from my country at a young age. “She was always very dramatic, even as a child — and liked to push the envelope, to give people a start, to shock them a little bit. It was who she was, and she enjoyed it very much. And she laughed about it sometimes when people got freaked out.” Growing up I was also pushing boundaries within my home, it became exhausting following what I am supposed to be to be “valued” and seen as a woman. Mendieta's work pushed ethnic, sexual, moral, religious and political boundaries. I started dressing more androgynous wearing mostly black and baggy clothes because it was comfortable. I enjoy being different from the rest of my family even with the judgmental comments, it is sort of validating. To me it just means that I am expressing myself and not letting others control how I want to present myself. Even though I am seen as the black sheep of the family by my family members, the judgment would get passed on to my own mother because she is the person who is supposed to show me how to be submissive.

     From Hooks I was inspired by three quotes from her essay Understanding Patriarchy due to them correlating to this series I made.“Listen to the voices of wounded grown children raised in patriarchal homes and you will hear different versions with the same underlying theme, the use of violence to reinforce our indoctrination and acceptance of patriarchy”, “As their daughter I was taught that my role was to be weak, to be free from the burden of thinking, to caretake or nurture others” and “Many female-headed households endorse and promote patriarchal thinking with far greater passion than two-parent households”. I never had the privilege to take a nap growing up or I would be seen as lazy. Although having no younger siblings, I grew up taking care of my little cousins, niece and nephew. While still being a child myself, I was forced to grow up quickly and take on responsibilities that were not mine. As well as having to cook and clean for my family, forcefully by my mother, I needed to be useful and valuable around the house and that is what defined it, not anything else I do. Which is why I chose to wear medals around my neck in my photo series. Even though I am seen as the “perfect golden child” when I do follow the rules, why must that be the only things that define me. In the last picture I wanted to show that even though I’m expected to do all of this I still deserve taking an afternoon nap without being called lazy. I knew the consequences of my actions would bring some form of attack on me, a fight between my mother and I leading to a beating by her or some form of guilt trip manipulation. 

    Inspired by Carrie Mae Weems  “kitchen table series” I chose to take photographs of myself in different parts of my house. One in the kitchen, two in the living room and one cleaning the bathtub. Inspired by the quote “the roles that women accumulate and oscillate between; how life emanates from the small space we occupy in the world”. Her work showed glimpses of Black Womanhood, although it is a piece of work that every woman can relate to, in the end it is all about womanhood. In my series I was able to capture the roles I accumulated in my own home. Although it may seem to an outsider that I am a normal person outside, they wouldn’t understand the depth of what I do at home. In the same way that my family will never get to know who I am outside our home.